2020 took away many things from many people. One of the main things it took from me was my relationship with my son’s father. After a long time of feeling pretty broken, I’m actually learning to thank 2020 and my ex of course, for making me a single parent and also finally realise my damn worth. It’s not for the first time either so although the initial getting dumped was harsh, I’m not all that bothered about parenting solo, and indeed doing everything solo now. It never crossed my mind that I would leave without Ewan.
What was hard was finding somewhere to live. I have found myself the subject of much discrimination trying to find rental accommodation being a single mother relying on universal credit. I won’t go into too much detail here. Being the dumpee I thought I should leave. I wanted to anyway. Once it was ok to go looking around houses, I knew I was the one leaving. It was not an easy task to find a place though. A pretty uncomfortable summer followed when I still lived with my ex.
From the end of October 2020 onwards I’ve been in a new place. A chance to put my stamp on somewhere. That feeling actually carried me through all the shit. I felt like crap, but Dobby was a free elf!
I’ll tell you what is crap though. Co parenting. When you’ve got to be the bigger person and rise above everything, and really you want to sew prawns into his curtains or cut up his ties or bang out passive aggressive memes on Facebook or whatnot. Okay so I get some time to myself now when Ewan is with his dad. All I crave is five minutes peace from bloody paw patrol, being a snack bitch and just a dog’s body in general, and the constant mess and disarray, but when I’ve got it, I don’t want it. It’s too quiet. My little dictator is giving out orders elsewhere to other people, and I’m counting down the hours and minutes to being able to crave 5 minutes peace again!